


Scars

by LarGibbon



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Devil Reveal, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:08:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22370815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarGibbon/pseuds/LarGibbon
Summary: Lucifer takes an emotionally intimate moment to reveal himself to Chloe.  Both of them learn what it means to be the Devil.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 6
Kudos: 201





	1. Date with the Devil

Chloe opened the door to a striking Devil, grinning and holding a brown paper bag in each hand, one wine-shaped, the other a larger bag she supposed contained Chinese.

“Hello, Detective!”

“Hi Lucifer,” she smiled, “what took you so long?”

“You would not believe what passes for Chinese food in this town,” he ranted, walking by her to the table, “I had to do a fair bit of investigation to locate this little place. However, it’ll be more than worth it, trust me.”

“I do,” she murmured half to herself as he started removing the contents of both bags, a soft smile just ghosting across his cheek in response.

“Lucifer, there’s no way we can eat all that.”

“Nonsense, Detective, your offspring is a growing little urchin with an **immense** appetite. I’m looking out for both of us and preventing certain starvation.”

Chloe’s heart swelled at the memory of his eager, nervous response to her invitation to dinner, even sweeter now that she knew he’d expected it to be a family meal. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that he might assume Trixie was a part of the plans and even remember her favorites without asking. It made breaking the news she’d thought was implied much more difficult.

“Where is your spawn anyway?” he asked after a moment’s silence, continuing to unpack the veritable feast he’d brought.

“She’s at Dan’s for the night,” Chloe confessed, smiling softly as his movements slowed and a look of confusion clouded his features.

“So...” he began, swallowing, “th-this... I mean, tonight... um, dinner... is...”

“A date,” Chloe’s smile creased at her eyes as she took in how absolutely adorably clueless and uncharacteristically nervous he was, “if that’s ok.”

“Y-YES!” He blurted, his face turning red, “I mean, of course it is, Detective. More than ok.”

He smiled at her sweetly, tilting his head slightly as he just stood there, looking for all the world like she’d just saved his life, before returning to occupy himself with the food, “Well now I suppose I have brought too much.”

“Trixie will love leftovers. Just leave out the lomein and your dinner and I’ll put the rest in the fridge.”

He put the bulk of the food back in the bag and handed it to her, then busied himself with emptying the contents onto the plates Chloe had set out. 

She returned to his side a moment later with wine glasses and a corkscrew, bumping his elbow with hers playfully, 

He smiled and set the plates across the table from each other.

“I thought maybe we could eat on the couch?If that’s ok?”

“Whatever you desire, Detective,” he smirked and carried both their plates over as she picked up the silverware.

She settled in close next to him, blushing at the childish nervousness she was feeling, as if _Lucifer_ was some middle school crush.

“So are you going to keep me in suspense all night?” he finally asked after a tense moment of silence.

“What?” She coughed, paranoid maybe he was reading her nervousness and jumping ahead to jumping in bed, which maybe she’d be ok with but I mean she would’ve thought there’d be at least a little attempt at foreplay from Mr “best night of my life” Morningstar and—

“Your text?” he looked concerned and confused at her reaction, “You said it was a long day...”

“OH!” She recovered, “it was nothing. Just... nothing.”

He placed his fork down on the plate with a clatter and turned awkwardly towards her, placing his hand on hers, “You’re the strongest person I know. If it bothered you, it wasn’t nothing.”

Her already flaming face blushed a little harder and she cleared her throat.He held onto her hand and absently rubbed circles on her hand, which did nothing to help her focus.

“I uh... just had this case,” her mouth responded without any input from her brain, “and... it um...”

He didn’t realize or maybe he’d just forgotten how effective his unfathomably deep dark eyes could be when wholly focused on one person, his lips slightly parted, inviting... tempting...

“Detective?” he looked confused, rattled even. She was immune, wasn’t she?

“It brought some old feelings back... for um... some people who... are not big fans of mine.”

He relaxed then, about to say something as he pulled back to continue eating, which caused something in her to panic and pull him towards her instead, catching a very surprised Devil mid-spin with a hungry kiss.

He was so shocked, he just let her kiss him for a moment before wrapping his arms around her like he was about to pull her closer, instead gently pulling her away to look in her wild eyes just filling with hurt, “Detective... not that I’m complaining but... are you feeling alright?”

“Ylrgh,” she attempted, clearly conveying she was FINE, thank you, then cleared her throat to try again, “Yes, Lucifer, I am very ok.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” which she could show him if he’d stop holding her back.

He eyed her skeptically and almost sheepishly, reluctantly looked in her eyes and asked, “then tell me... what do you truly desire?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Lucifer, for the last time, that doesn’t work on me. But if you really want to know... just let me show you!”

He stared at her suspiciously, loosening his grip, letting her eagerly get back to kissing him.

“Detective,” he breathed as she moved down his neck, “where did we first meet?”

“What?” she leaned back then, stricken, “you don’t remember?”

“Just... answer please.”

“Is this a test? Can you not just enjoy yourself?”

The irony of having that question reversed on him was not lost on him, “I just... need to know it’s...  _ real_.”

“You can’t just trust me when I say that it is?” she accused, but at the guilty way he slumped forward and looked like he was about to dive into a lengthy, apologetic explanation, she groaned impatiently, “Fine: Lux. I was investigating your friend’s murder, you were playing piano.Good?”

“What did you say to me?”

“I thought your name was a stage name — jury’s still out — and you tried to flirt while simultaneously insulting me, which turns out to be your kink judging by this conversation. Ok? Did I pass your test?”

“Just... one more question, Detective. _Why_?” He motioned to the space between them.

“I... are you kidding? I’m not going to tell the world’s biggest egomaniac how attractive you are. You have mirrors, admirers, an overly inflated sense of self-confidence...”

“But... you weren’t interested before...”

“I didn’t  _know_ you before.”

“Exactly!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

Horrified understanding set in and her hands dropped to her lap for a beat as her heart broke for him. She carefully reached up then, gingerly cupping his face. 

“Lucifer, I can appreciate your looks as much as anyone with eyes but that’s not enough for me. When we met... I wrote you off as another one of LA’s eccentric billionaire playboys but... then I got to know you. You won me over with your passion for making things right and the spark of joy you bring to even my most boring days. I can count on you. I _trust_ you. And that’s why I want you. It’s just a bonus that you also happen to be hot as hell.”

He laughed out loud at that, staring in awe as she leaned in, keeping eye contact until their lips met softly, carefully, briefly, and she pulled away as if to prove she could.

“Alright?” she whispered with deep concern flooding her face.

Slowly, a mischievous grin replaced the shock on his face and he leaned in.

Holy shit. A minute ago she thought it was amazing to kiss him but now she knew she had no idea what kissing even was until he was kissing her back. Holy shit. He did this thing where— _oh_ and that— ho— _yes. HOly—_

He started to kiss down her neck, his hands just beginning to explore when he realized she was hyperventilating— not the first time this had happened to him; now that _had_ been a shock. Cleopatra of all people! So this was too much all at once, ok. More than fair.

He pulled away to give her a moment to regroup, then rubbed her back in slow circles as she calmed, whispering, “it’s ok Detective. Completely normal, take all the time you need.”


	2. Big Reveals

When she had regained some level of composure, she laughed breathlessly, “what the hell was that?”

“Just a kiss, luckily,” he teased, “more and we’d be in the emergency room.”

“Hm... probably worth the trip,” and she attacked him like an addict chasing her next high. ‘Walking heroin,’ she’d remembered him claiming— he had not exaggerated.

“Detective,” he objected against her greedy mouth, “I’m not willing to test that theory.”

She fell back on the couch, feeling betrayed and rejected.

“I-I mean I’m willing—  _ more _ than willing to continue, just...” he took her hands in his, “perhaps... a bit more slowly?”

She swallowed back the hurt and nodded, reassured that at least he wasn’t flat-out rejecting her.

“Good,” he pulled her in to him and kissed her forehead, then stood. Another wave of rejection hit as she stood with his help and prepared to say goodbye. Instead, he took her hand and led her to her bedroom, intertwining their fingers on the way.

He led her to the bed and sat beside her, cautiously kissing her hand before letting it go to begin unbuttoning his shirt. She grew impatient quickly and interrupted his work to finish the job one button at a time.

He watched her with rapt attention and cupped her face with one hand to draw her to him. He kissed her again, languidly, sweeping her hair away from her neck. Where there was passion and urgency before, he was careful and slow, making a consciousness effort to avoid touching her in the ways he knew would unravel her.

He shed his shirt as she pushed it away from his chest, shoulders, arms, back; intent on tracing every line and plane she was allowed to access.

She hesitated when her hands approached the scars on his back, remembering how he’d reacted last time. She didn’t want to push him if he wasn’t ready but more than anything, she just wanted him to share everything with her. So her fingertips ventured across one scar’s borders, lightly tracing the rough skin, each pock and crater felt out carefully like Braille. But the more she touched, the more frustrated she became: the story was all there but it was in a language she couldn’t understand. He didn’t stop her this time, just gently broke their kiss and opened his eyes to peer, wide and dark and shining, into hers.

“Why?” escaped her guarded lips in a whisper. She didn’t even know what she was asking, just that she couldn’t understand that this had happened to him. To  _him._

“Free will,” his breathy response became a growl, “I won’t be controlled.”

“Y-you did this to yourself to get away from your dad... somehow?”

He nodded.Details were unimportant.

Her eyes started to sting and she felt a sob rise in her throat, which settled in her chest as she choked it back.She allowed her hands to move away from his back to hold his face, “ _please_ don’t hurt yourself again, Lucifer.”

Chloe didn’t know what she was asking. Lucifer was the king of self-flagellation, delegating the torture of the guilty to themselves because he  knew first-hand how enormously effective that could be. His face grew hot under her touch and his eyes stayed glued to hers, so completely open and vulnerable, it took everything in her not to look away.

“I won’t,” he croaked, finally.

“Good,” she leaned closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him.

He was still adjusting to hugs.No one in heaven or hell was much for affectionate touching - except mum, of course, and she’d been locked away for eons before she was even corporeal enough to embrace properly.And on earth... well, most of his companions here had been quick to move on from the hugging to activities at once both more and less intimate. 

He placed his hands on the small of her back and nestled his nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling so deeply that he really truly relaxed for the first time in... well,  _time,_ as he breathed out.

Before he understood what was happening, her hair was wet with what he eventually realized were his tears and his chest was heaving up an eternity of torment suppressed and redirected into meaningless encounters and unrelenting self-loathing.She held him tighter as silent sobs shook his body.

“It’s ok,” she whispered, “I’ve got you.”

They stayed like that for a long while, Chloe rubbing his back soothingly until Lucifer had let out everything he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding on to.He leaned back, gently breaking their embrace, and looked at her with embarrassment through swollen, red eyes.

“M-my apologies, *sniff* Detective.”

“No, please, Lucifer I’m here for you... you know that, right?”

“I do, Detective, truly,” he sighed heavily, somehow relaxing even further, “and I you.”

She touched his hand, “You don’t have to tell me everything right now but... will you? M-maybe one day?”

He smiled tenderly, “Detective, I swear to you I will tell you anything you want to know any time you want to know it. Just... be sure you want to know the answer before you ask the question... please.”

“Ok... then... whenever you’re ready and it doesn’t have to be today —could you just tell me... why  _Lucifer_?”  


  
She clarified in response to the confusion building on his face, “I mean, who are you...  _really_?”

“Detective,” he sighed heavily, “I promised to tell you the truth and I will but... this is a question you may regret asking. Are you sure?”

“Yes, Lucifer, I don’t... I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me.”

He half-smiled, torn between the thrill he felt at her words and the anguish of the inevitable impending rejection.The seconds ticked by as he considered his response.

“I-I mean, you don’t have to tell me now if you’re not ready, I just thought—“

“No, no, I can do this, Detective,” he encouraged her as much as himself, “I just... I can’t bear for you to look at me any differently than you are right now.”

“I won’t, Lucifer,” she briefly placed a hand on his cheek, “nothing can change the way I feel about you.”

“Well, I suppose... we’ll see...” he sighed, nervously fidgeting, “alright so I, um, I’m going to show you something now and it-it might be a bit alarming, so please keep in mind that I am still every bit the same Dev— the same  _man_ you know and I would never... I can’t even  _think_ about hurting you.”

“Ok, it’s ok, you can show me,” she settled back on her heels and folded her hands on her knees.

He took a deep breath and held it as he allowed his skin to catch fire, carefully monitoring her response as his face changed.

She involuntarily gasped, her hands jumping to her mouth as if of their own accord. Immediately, her brain was a jumbled mess. The shock of watching her partner’s face shift - no, not just shift,  _burn_ from the inside out - from extreme beauty to extreme disfigurement made her want to run screaming. In fact, the exhale that followed would have been a scream if there’d been any strength behind it— but she couldn’t decide why. Was it the shock, the understanding that he had gone through something so horrific, or that he was who he said he was all along, the actual goddamned Devil? Her partner? In her bedroom? Feet from her daughter’s room? Her brain short-circuited and rebooted as the primordial urges to fight or flight struggled against each other within her, resulting in a frozen, uncomprehending, object of a person struggling to make sense of the impossible.

But his  _eyes_ ... his eyes brought her back to this moment, made her see a person,  _her_ person, in front of her again. Two endless voids with a flame burning deep within them, inhuman and terrifying but... but then,  _he_ looked even more terrified.He was just staring at her like he had been all along: nervous and vulnerable and open. He wasn’t moving or breathing and his hands — red, claw-like hands that matched his face — were folded so tightly together that the skin was stretched and nearly white across his knuckles.

She swallowed and took a deep breath, finally allowing one hand to leave her face to touch his.His eyes stayed glued to hers until her fingers met his broken skin.He allowed his eyelids to droop, then, just slightly.

“Lucifer,” Chloe uttered, tasting each syllable like she was repeating a word she’d just learned.

He breathed out raggedly.

She allowed her full palm to meet his face, returning her gaze from flesh to eyes, “Every... everything you said?”

He kept his voice low and quiet to avoid scaring her away, “The truth, Detective, always.”

She shivered and unconsciously retracted her hand at his voice, at once so familiar and so alien.With a sad smile, his smoldering features simmered out and his skin returned to normal in an instant.

Chloe let out a surprised noiseless laugh and stared at him, unable to process.

“Detective I... I’m still...” he began, his brow furrowing in thought as he trailed off, unable to find the words to make her understand, to make this right.She couldn’t possibly...

“I-I’m glad you showed me,” she encouraged.

“You are?”

“Yeah,” she confessed, “So... you’re... the Devil.”

“Yes,” he chuckled without humor, “that I am.”

“Why?”

Another uncomprehending look and slight head tilt from him prompted more from her.

“I-I mean... why are you here? Why LA? Why the LAPD? Why...” she couldn’t quite finish that last thought.

“I ah,” he swallowed, “I’m on vacation.”

She laughed, a short, nervous slice into the tense stillness.

“F-from hell,” he explained with a gulp, “I mean, I... hell is... a-and after a few centuries, I just needed... and, well, and then... I met you.”

“But why now? Why here?Why...” unable to finish her thoughts any more than he could.

“Why what, Detective?”

“Why  _me_?”

“You...” he started and tried again, clearing his throat, determined to finish one thought at least, just this one and nothing else mattered, “I’ve visited earth many times and dealt with most of its inhabitants but this time was different and you...” he hesitated, “ _you_ were different.”

She dropped her gaze to her hands then, not sure how to feel knowing that the Devil had some kind of interest in her. Did this mean she was special? Evil? Cursed?

“Detective, I—“ he started, her silence growing the anxious pit now consuming him from the inside out, but maybe if he could just say the right thing for once, “I honestly don’t know why  _you_ any more than anyone else on this planet can explain why they lo— ah, I mean, I-I just know that it is... it  is you.”

She looked up then, shocked, “What?”

“I’m sorry,” he felt like an idiot, because of course he’d made it worse, that was all he was good for apparently and how could he forget that after eons spent proving the point, “I didn’t mean to... I don’t know what I’m saying. Please, just forget it. I-I should go, let you process, you know, everything.”

He turned and stood, searching for his shirt. She wanted to tell him to stay but she wasn’t sure why. Why wouldn’t she want him to leave? So she said nothing.

He only hesitated for a moment before pulling the shirt out from under her bed and onto himself in one swift, easy motion, and began to button it up as he walked out the door.


	3. Lucifer: the Devil

She immediately missed his warmth and company but...that was odd, right?What kind of person was attracted to the Devil? And worse, what kind of person  _attracted_ the Devil?

What if he was lying to her this whole time? No, Lucifer doesn’t lie. But what if he was hiding other things?Worse things? But he’d been so vulnerable with her earlier—She nearly fell off the bed realizing that The Devil himself had cried on her shoulder not 30 minutes ago. And why not? Who had been through more hell than the Devil?

But now she had so many questions. She stared after him long after the door latched, mulling over what had happened and what it meant for her and for him. Before she knew it, she was unlocking her phone and staring down at the last text conversation she’d had, of course with him.

“Are you coming over?”

“ 🥂🥡 ?”

“Sure, wine couldn’t hurt... Long day”

“ 👍🕵️🍷🚨 ”

“ 😈🏠 ”

She stared at the devil emoji, furious she’d missed it. He had told her so many times.She touched the chat box but couldn’t decide what to say or how to word the 10000 questions bubbling up.

Instead, she opened the SnapChat account Lucifer had made for her and scrolled through her saved images. She never used the damn thing so most of the images were Lucifer’s selfies, pictures of herself he’d taken and videos of pranks he’d pulled on Dan - all of which he’d sent to her and then gone into her phone and saved whenever he stole her phone from her, which was often, loudly complaining all the while that she never checked her messages.Most of the familiar images she only recognized from the times Lucifer had shoved the phone in her face in a mix of frustration and pride.

She found herself scrolling through, smiling a little more at each sweet memory the hundreds of images brought back. And then she found an image of the back of her head as she slept at her desk after wrapping up a particularly difficult case, the caption simply an angel  😇 , many hearts  💕 and the detective 🕵️♀️ emoji. She would have interpreted it as a joke about her sleeping like an angel if she had seen it an hour ago but now it made her think: _he_ was technically an angel. What did that mean? For him? For her? For this snap?

So she went to call him, her finger hovering over send for a few endless moments before she sucked in a shaky breath and hit it.

“Detective!” He answered after the first ring.

When she didn’t respond, words catching in her throat, he grew unsure, “hello?”

“Hell,” she swallowed, “what’s it like?”

“Nothing you’ll ever need to worry about, I assure you,” he evaded.

“B-but is it different? For you?”

“Well yes, I mean, hell is still  hell and I’d much rather be here but yes, I suppose being the Devil does have a few perks, one of which is being the king.”

“D-does that mean you’re not tortured in hell?I mean  _is_ there torturing in hell?”

“I— there is torture in hell but most of it is self-inflicted.”

“A-and you?”

“Detective,” he evaded, dropping his voice in an attempt to level with her, “I promised I would answer all of your questions honestly but I don’t want to scare you unnecessarily. You’re going to the Silver City so you’ll never have to worry about what hell is like.”

“But are  you going back?”

“Yes o-of course, if that’s what you desire.”

“No! I just... I’m trying to understand,” her stomach dropped at his inference and willingness to return to torture he didn’t want to even talk about at one word from her and she oddly wished she could hug him. Hug Satan. Fuck this was weird.

He sighed, “yes, Detective, even the Devil is tortured in hell. But demons needn’t bother with me. Not unless I’m especially bored. But then... boredom has always been an integral element of  my torture.”

She smiled at that because of course Lucifer Morningstar’s personal hell was boredom— but something about the easy way he was talking about his actual torture in actual hell made it difficult to laugh.Her brain was a Thaumatrope spinning between Lucifer and the Devil, in her mind at once so separate and yet the same.

“Lucifer?”

“Yes Detective?”

“I have a lot of questions.”

“Yes,” he sighed with resignation.

“And we never finished that wine.”

“Right...?” He sounded cautiously hopeful.

“Well, I-I think it would be better... I mean I know you’re probably halfway home already but...”

“I’m more than happy to return to answer any and all of your questions— if that’s what you truly desire.”

“Yeah, it... it is.”

“Then... could you... ah, could you open the door?”

“What?” Sure enough, she walked to the door and opened it to her partner, sheepishly ending the call.

“I... I was leaving... but I just needed some time to... and anyway then you called.”

“You’ve been sitting out there the whole time?” He looked far from his usually well-kempt self: his eyes were red and hair messed, his shirt was slightly crumpled from its time on the floor.

“Yes... I—I didn’t mean... I just,” he stuttered, helplessly dropping his arms against his sides, avoiding eye contact.

She pulled him into a hug then, burying her face in his ruined shirt so she could almost feel his heartbeat as it sputtered in his chest.

“Detective?” he breathed, hands hovering over her shoulders.

“Lucifer,” she sighed, holding him tighter, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too, Detective,” he relaxed a bit then, wrapping her in his arms.

“You up for 20 questions?” She mumbled into his shirt after a moment.

“Anything you desire, Detective.”

“Well right now, I desire wine. You?”

“Absolutely.”


	4. Past, Present, Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe has her own secret to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this was a tough one to wrap up. The angst could just keep on coming! But can I help it if I just want them to be happy? 😭

“Ok, and you chose that moment to introduce yourself?” She balked as he wrapped up one of countless stories he’d told about the endlessly fascinating centuries of his past that night.

“Well I do love to make an entrance, Detective.”

“Of course,” she wheezed, tears of laugher springing to her eyes.

Still smiling, he dropped his eyes thoughtfully to the dark liquid swirling in his glass as her laughter died off.

She searched herself for more questions but came up empty as she observed him. She tossed her hair and leaned on her elbow against the top of the couch, keeping her eyes fixed on him while he continued looking away quietly for the first time in the last few hours.

“Everything okay?” She asked him like she would ask Trixie, no trace of the fear or hesitation due the Devil himself.

He glanced up at her before looking back to his wine, “I just... I never dreamed...”

“What?” She encouraged, reaching out to rub his shoulder.

He laughed a little then, shaking his head and taking a sip of wine before continuing, “well, it’s just that... you-you’re still...  here .”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She tilted her head, still smiling.

“Well... not to remind you if you’ve already forgotten, but I am...  actually the Devil.”

“Oh,” that sobered her a little and her hand dropped from his shoulder, “Right.”

He frowned slightly, waiting for the other shoe to drop, his heart racing, sending hot blood to his ears and the back of his neck.

“Is there something I should know about that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we just talked for hours about your past and other than your fall from grace and your obligations in hell, scary Devil stuff didn’t really come up too much. Is there something you’re hiding?”

“No! Chloe, I’ve told you everything I could think of...” he started to recall the long list of stories, searching for any he’d missed, “you know about my family, hell, Eve, Maze’s pigs, good old Hieronymus, Salem, Oscar, I came clean about Daniel’s pudding... And if I think of anything else, you’ll be the first to know. Always.”

“Then... Lucifer, why does it matter what you are? I care about _who_ you are,” she gently pulled one of his hands away from the wine he was clutching like his life depended on it and rubbed circles on the back of his hand with her thumb, “you may be the Devil to everyone else who’s ever lived but to me... you’re just... my  _partner_.”

He made eye contact with her again then, that vulnerability and fragile bit of hope again laid bare for her to do with as she would. Her heart broke and soared for him, seeing all at once how long he had waited for someone - for  _her_ \- to truly accept him for who he was.

“Detective?” a small voice whispered, wavering with uncertainty but not exactly asking a question.

She leaned in and met his lips with a chaste kiss. It took him a moment to recover from the shock but then he allowed his hand to come up to cup her cheek and responded with just the slightest bit more, a small desperate sigh escaping as he forced himself to hold back, still afraid he would scare her or trap her. If she wasn’t free to leave, it wasn’t real and if it wasn’t real... he might as well be in hell.

She pulled him closer by his collar then, trying to show him certainty in the face of his fear.He let a little more give, more conscious of the effect he’d had on her earlier than on the effect she was having on him now. So when she wound her fingers in his hair and nibbled lightly on his lower lip, she took the Devil’s breath away.He moaned involuntarily and broke the kiss, completely overwhelmed.

“You ok?” She asked, alarmed by his flushed face and dazed stare.

“It-It’s just that rush again... I feel... well, I feel very good and  very sick. What is this?”

“Isn’t that just what making out feels like?”

“No,” Lucifer immediately responded, appalled, “Trust me,  nothing feels like this...”

“Must be the oxytocin then,” she shrugged.

“The Devil doesn’t excrete hormones,” Lucifer objected.

Chloe laughed despite herself, “all I’m saying is,” she climbed onto his lap, “maybe... something about this time is different?”

“I— well yes,” he admitted, steadying her with his hands on her lower back, “it is _you_.”

She blushed just the slightest bit, “You know, there is something I’ve been wanting to tell you...”

“Oh?” he hid his apprehension as well as he could.

“I—I don’t know if it’ll explain everything you’re feeling but I think it does for me... and in the spirit of full-disclosure on the world’s most intense first date, I just... I want to say...” her heart racing, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, balancing lightly against his chest.Lucifer rubbed her back encouragingly as she prepared to share this one secret after his night of oversharing, “Lucifer I... I love you.”

He laughed breathily like he’d just been punched in the gut and as he reached up to tenderly stroke her hair behind her ear he whispered, “You don’t have to.”

“I know...  I _know_ Lucifer, but I do,” she reached up to hold the back of his head, arms resting on either side of his neck, “Not because you’re the Devil or even despite that but because... you’re... you. The guy I can trust to have my back no matter what and the only one I want to work with every day even when you’re driving me crazy.Anyway I just... wanted you to know.”

“Chloe,” he breathed, allowing his heavy head to lean against her forehead, closing his eyes.

She played with the hairs on the back of his head as they just sat there together, listening to their own heartbeats slow until they could no longer feel them pounding in their ears.

“A hundred billion years...” he finally murmured, “I’ve seen the fall of heaven, the first spark of hell. I watched the cosmos grow from nothing and met more creatures in every corner of existence than you can begin to imagine. Not once has anyone come close to you. I don’t know if I deserve your love but I promise I will do everything in my power to protect it. Because, if it means anything at all... I love you too, Chloe. More than anything.”

She pulled away and he looked up to see her tear-soaked face. Before he could ask if he’d said something wrong, she kissed him with all the passion she could express. He returned it this time with no trace of the nervous hesitation he’d felt all night. Now that he knew she was his, despite everything -  despite _knowing_ what he was... as long as she would have him, he would do anything he could to keep her.


End file.
